| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|10:38 am] |
joy! joy! joy!
its all worth it. =) |
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| charade |
[Dec. 18th, 2006|11:57 am] |
Ouch.
It was like the meet-the-boyfriend-first-time type of scenario with your circle of close friends. The unending usual interviews and scrutiny of just how nice or bad this guy could be.
Too bad he isn’t my boyfriend.
But that didn’t stop my friend from asking. Questions we two have been dying to answer on his behalf. Since he is there, she abruptly asks not minding that I’d rather talk about silly things than to hear the answer to those questions.
He wanted friendship more, and said that he’s not looking for anyone right now. Friendship is much better, it having no complications, no demands.
Yeah. Right!
And so I laughed hard and act cool upon hearing. I should. I was seating beside him, I can’t act affected, should I?
Bang! Bullseye!
She was looking at me. I know why she asked. It’s to get that info as early as possible so id stop hoping that there is something. I like him, and they like him for me. So that leaves us three devastated to hear those words. Gone are the giddy stories about him, shot us for being an advocate of the lady of assumption.
He was using my friends’ phone and texting nonstop. She read some of the messages in her sent items box. I knew about the girl he is texting, I just thought it was her who was flirting. But the way it goes now, he too is. So he now has Baby ko.
Halt my heart.
No, I won’t let him go. He is a great friend, someone for keeps.
It’s just that now, id distant myself for a while but would make sure he won’t notice much of it. I can’t be with him as often as before, I might act distant or cold. Much better to stop seeing him for a while. Might help.
What I need is to settle this on my own. To accept that this is how far we could be and should be.
If only he could stop being so damn nice.
If he could just stop caring that much and making me feel special.
If he’d only stop trying to know more of me, of my life and of the people I love. Stop being interested. Lets just settle with our own circle of friends, can we?
If people would just stop teasing and assuming that we are an item.
If my friends would just stop letting him seat in the front seat of the car and dump him in the backseat. It isn’t given that he be in the front seat girls.
And whatever we have talked about, it was just all for the sake of argument, for us to have something to talk about. Or to poke me out from what he calls my “wall”.
Id stop reading.
No more our lady of assumption.
This heart would have to stop racing.
Sabihan mo pa kong manhid sasapakin na kita! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|11:32 am] |
so here goes again another hammer to break the already crushed heart.
another reading between the lines turned lady of assumption.
aint it crazy having to hold on to the thought that maybe he could be the one?
aint it pathetic to put much attention to every gesture
one makes towards you.
and isnt it overly hearthbreaking to know that all those
were just because he really is like that...with everyone else.
it just so happened that you are a bit more closer with each other
making that attention you get also a bit more.
keep remembering that. that he is like that.
now this is total shut out. and yes i am like this.
so deal with it mr. you'd have to come face to face with what you
call the "wall" i put around myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|01:51 pm] |
sarjs entry couldnt be more timely.
feast on
" i realized that moving on really requires closed
doors. No more peaking into each other's lives to
avoid hurting oneself. No more knocking on an
ignoring door. No more trying to get in to know if
it's already locked. No matter how hard you lean
against the door and strain your ears to hear his
footsteps going towards or away that damn door,
still the fact is: it's none of your business
anymore. You can't help him to get up and to move
on. Keep in mind that he knows what to do at thr
right time and your help is the least that he
needs. Give him a break. You can't ask him to stay.
Or maybe you can, but it just wouldn't work. He has
his own will, you have yours. And all you can do,
it's give yourself a favor and get over it. Yes,
some people get back together, some people don't.
SOme people are lucky in love, some people are -
well, too stubborn to admit that things went wrong.
I've had my luck. And I'm thankful for the moment
that I willingly gave it back without regrets. Now
I'm being optimistic that I'll be bouncing to where
happiness dwells and have a spanking good time.
Cheers to single blessedness! *wink wink*" |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|12:10 pm] |
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im gonna stop waiting
am going to be happy today
hes not coming
no one is
so be happy
i will be
coz thats what HAPPY BIRTHDAY is right? |
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